Standards: Friend or Foe?

Nikita and I were at a book store last night checking out the Psychology and Self-Help books (we know we’re nerds), and came across a book on dating. Its title included some words about how to get any guy you wanted, so of course we opened it up and started reading. I don’t believe you can get any man you want, just ask any girl whose guy broke up with them, but the book did make some valid points. One such point was about how your standards can be your main crippler in your dating life.

Your dating standards are those make it or break it features when it comes to potential suitors. It’s a checklist of what you’re looking for that makes men easily categorical. My list looks a little something like this:

Age range: 27-35

Must be single and unattached, never married preferred

College educated preferred

Must have nice teeth

Does not have children

Must be Christian

Does not abuse drugs or alcohol

Does not have a history of physically, psychologically, or sexually abusing his girlfriends

Must have a job and be financially secure

I could, and do, go on and on, but the purpose of this blog isn’t to tell you what I’m looking for. The purpose of this blog is to challenge you to be honest with yourself. Are you being realistic with your standards? The book Nikita and I read said to make your list then throw it away. I disagree with that, but I’ll amend what they said to: Make your list and prioritize it.

What are you willing to compromise on and what are your absolute must haves on your list? I’m not going to get involved with a 70 year old Buddhist because it goes against my beliefs, and just…eww. But, how crazy would it be of me to finally meet a nice guy who I have great chemistry with and reject him just for the simple fact that he’s 40? Or has 1 rogue tooth?

If a shallow, superficial quality makes you not want to be with a guy, then by all means, don’t do anything you don’t want to do, but don’t use it as an excuse. If you’re rigid with your list you run the risk the danger of letting Mr. Right slip right through your fingers. Most of the items on my list are things I’m not willing to compromise on, but if a great guy I meet is divorced, then oh well, who cares. We all make mistakes.

Be open to the potential all men have to offer - it doesn’t matter what package the potential comes in. As we've preached from day one: judge a man on his actions. If a guy makes you laugh, feel good about yourself, and is fun to be around, don't discard him just because he doesn't meet your idea of what you think a man worthy of dating you should be.