Before You Settle For Less....

So, we've learned that life is not a fairytale, no stunning prince on a charming horse will fall out of the sky and sweep you off your feet; now what?! No happily ever after? No galloping away into the sunset with the man of your dreams? Okay, okay, enough of the negative "there is no such thing as true love." There is! But the key to finding this is not wishing upon a star or waiting for "the one" to walk up to you and the rest is history. There is work involved ladies; yes, work. One of the best quotes I've heard (although I have no frigging idea who came up with it) is "anything worth wanting is worth fighting for." In this day and age, if we want true love, we must fight for it.
What the heck am I talking about? I'm saying we must fight for true love by knowing that we deserve the best, we are worthy of everything we feel we need in a relationship (within reason), and we should not give up the good fight and settle for that one guy who seems like he kind of maybe could be the one if he would just.....STOP!!! Don't go any farther with that statement. I think we get so caught up in the fact that life is not a fairytale, that we forget there are some stellar moments that happen that can make us feel like we are living one. So, how do you get to those "stellar moments" that make you think "fairytale?" Standards. Yes, I mean run of the mill "this is what I want" standards. Conditions of which you would like to enter a relationship with that special someone. Standards are important because they help you to understand what you need in a relationship, and keep you on track to finding that perfect somebody; perfect for YOU, that is. But also remember to be flexible and reasonable. For example, we see in the movies all the time that tall, dark, handsome, sensitive, romantic man that is caring, considerate, thoughtful, and worships the ground you walk on. However, in real life, it is rare to find a man who exhibits ALL of these qualities ALL of the time. With that said, set your standards, be flexible, but DO NOT SETTLE.
Now you ask, what is the difference between flexing and settling? The definition of flex is "to bend." One of the definitions of settle is "to sink down gradually." Being flexible means accepting imperfections that you feel are not a deal breaker, because they A)don't negatively impact the way you feel about yourself and B) annoy the heck out of you, but it's something that you can live with.  Being flexible means you compromise and understand that  pesky "one thing" is something that makes that one guy "that guy," and you feel special knowing you snagged him. On the other hand, settling for a guy that makes you feel bad (physically, mentally, or spiritually), question yourself and desirability, or just plain out makes you sad, just because he meets three of your top five standards, will leave you in a sinkhole wondering: how do I get out of here? Ladies, we have to hold out for that guy that meets all five standards. When you go to a fancy restaurant, and they present you with a menu that boasts of the best steak you've ever eaten, for a handsome price, I'm sure you wouldn't settle for a nicely browned loaf of ground chuck on a fancy plate, dressed to sort of kind of look like the filet in the picture. Wouldn't you rather wait until the REAL thing arrives? I mean, you ARE paying for it. Okay so figuratively speaking. But if you do settle for a man who does not meat ; ) your standards, you pay for it with your time, energy, and maybe even your feelings and self-esteem. Remember what you are worth, and always know that you deserve the best! Know that your standards may differ from your friends, and try not to get caught up in the hype. If you know that bestie who has a man who forgets her birthday, doesn't take out the trash, and never tells her he loves her but she's skating on cloud 9, don't think "well she is happy...." STOP!!! and wait for your man who takes out the trash so often you forget what garbage is! Knows your birthday better than your parents (okay exaggerating here but you get the idea), and tells you he loves you AT LEAST twice a day. What's okay for your bestie, or anyone else for that matter, may not be what's best for you. One of the most important parts of a relationship is having respect for each other. If you meet someone who you want to "flex" with, but he doesn't respect your needs or conditions for the relationship, you're probably settling, not flexing. You want to be confident knowing that what you feel like you need from a relationship will be given to you---within reason. Ah ha!! A catch you say? Well yeah, this is where that work thing comes into play. Understand that with a great relationship comes great work. Don't demand things from your SOS, but meet him halfway. Communicate, communicate, and oh yea, communicate!! Set boundaries for your relationship before it becomes the type of relationship you want it to be. (By the way, this will rule out those guys that just want to take a test drive and move on to the next car *wink wink*). This means, let SOS know exactly what you want in a relationship before you get too far into it( i.e, the first date, or at least by the third). This doesn't mean bring out your wedding book and talk about the five kids you can't wait to have. It is okay to express the goals you have in mind for yourself and let them know,I would like to get married someday and have kids. If they can't meet the standards (whatever they are), help them exit stage left. More than likely, they will drop the curtain themselves and move on before you can make the exit known if they aren't up to par. Or, believe it or not, they may have their owns standards that you may not be okay with (i.e I sleep with all my dates the first night, believe in open relationships with no labels, and  I never want to get married). This is where you DON'T SETTLE, and YOU exit stage left!
All in all, don't sell your self short thinking of how you will never find that one if you don't grab the next kinda decent fella that walks by (since fairytales don't exist.) Remember, Disney fairytales are just that; tales. But, if you hold to your standards and have patience YOUR real life fairytale will eventually come to you.