Beware of "The Thrill of the Chase!"

"Hey honey, sweetheart, beautiful, sexy, pumpkin, cuty, my special girl..." Ever meet a guy with sugar dripping from his honeycomb lips? Whispers the sweetest nothings in your ear and it's only the first conversation text message/phone call before you even get to the actual date? Begin "The Chase." Yes, the thrill of going after something you want. Like how you REALLY want that pair of shoes and you go to a thousand different stores "chasing" 'em then you get it, wear 'em once and now they're hanging out in the back of your closet? Get my drift ladies? Men love the "thrill" of the chase. Now don't get me wrong, of course there are some legitimate sugar canes out there that are in it to win, or will stick around past the sappy "come hither" talk. Make sure you are aware of what type you're hanging out with.
A man will tell you little, tiny, subtle things about himself that he will not tell you verbally while he is actually speaking to you...Lose anybody? Okay, let me find you and pull you back in. ; ) Men don't always say exactly what they mean (WHAT?!). It's true friends; no matter how they pull the "man" card of ALWAYS saying what they mean and meaning what they say, it's not true. I know. I know. More work for us ladies. But being aware of this and using the information will be well worth the pay out in the end.
So, how do you know? Well, in a conversation, a man will tell you what he feels you need to hear so that he can do one of a couple of things: 1) Get to know you better, 2) Get to know you better so he can sleep with you 3) Get to know you better so that he can figure out if you are worth his hanging around until he can sleep with you. We want to shoot for number one. To do this, all you need to do is.... LISTEN to what he tells you and LOOK at his behavior. A man who steps to you and says "hey sugar honey iced-tea you got the best legs this side of creation!" is telling you, I noticed your legs and i'm attracted to you physically. Keep him talking for a little while, and he tells you, "you're the most beautiful woman I have seen in my life, including my mama!" Laying it on extra thick isn't he? The more you keep him talking, the more you see, this guy is really hung up on looks...didn't he hear me say thank you the first thousand times he complimented my D-Cup? Yes, he heard you, and because you continue to relish in this type of complimentary behavior, the more forward he will become. He wants to let you know, "I've been hurt in the past so I want to be just friends first" as he tries to stuff his tongue down your throat while unhooking your bra. This is when you create "the sex buddy," "friend with benefits" "cut friend" or whatever you want to call it...so many names for it these days...Now mind you, a mature woman has the right to engage in any type of relationship she wants, including but not limited to the forementioned ones. But, if this is not the type of relationship you want, BEWARE of honey lips. A man who is trying to get the goods will not only tell you what he thinks will let him get it and go, but may hang in for some time. This is the man you are fighting off after every date who says "I mean, it is our third date." This is the guy you've talked to for a couple of weeks and you've yet to go on a date, although he wants to come over or have you come to him, really late (or really early) to "spend time with you." (Can you say "booty call"?) A man who wants to pressure you for sex or anything that you are not comfortable with is not interested in you as a person. If they were, they'd be listening to you talk about your values, desires, and things you are comfortable with instead of groping you and picturing you in your birthday suit.
So, some of us are newly single or seasonedly single, used-to-having-it-on-the-regular ladies who get a little heated after so much attention is being thrown our way (Guilty!) But this is where you take that cold shower, pull out your bullet pal and ask yourself: Is this guy really worth it if he can't even listen,hear me, and be accepting of what I want? I know it's hard sometimes (literally...) but believe me, there's a guy out there who you will let strip you naked and when you give him the red light before point of entry, he will absolutely STOP. Okay, so I'm hoping you don't go this far because it gets a little difficult to stop a train that's "full steam" ahead. But, there is a guy who will like you so much he wants to kiss you, touch you, caress you, make love to you, and do anything that you ask him to do to your body...when you are ready and give him the green light. Remember, your body is a temple and deserves to be appreciated and above all, RESPECTED. Seem a little familiar? Well, you know how you study something, over, and over, and over, and over again so you remember it? A little of that going on here. ; )
So, beware of honey lips who doesn't respect what you're saying because he's distracted by what's underneath what you you're wearing. Mr. I want your body so much I can hardly contain myself but I respect you and like you too much to do anything to jeapordize even our friendship (mouthful I know) is out there. Sweet as he can be, up and down, inside out, not just at the top before you get to that bitter layer of resentment and "rejection" because you didn't give in (yay you! pat yourself on the back).
So, as I pre-read this blog before posting, I realize, I've given you great examples of what to look out for, but hardly any on what to look for. Here goes: A man who gives you the time of day. Plain and simple. He calls/texts and lets you know what is going on with him, but, he also wants to know what's going on with you. He is concerned and is so busy listening to you that he can know what you need before you have to repeat it. Okay okay, I'm a little biased in this area, but you know what you want in a man, and you know how to listen and look for what seems right for you. Remember what you are worth, and what is worth you having a guy who doesn't treat you how you would like.
In closing, pay attention for the wolf in sweet's clothing. Wouldn't you rather have the sweetness all the way through rather than get to the center and see it's a little sour? ; )