Too many of us are afflicted with low self-esteem, negative self talk, and poor body images. Despite what we may look like or think, we are all beautiful women with qualities that are attractive to the right man. On those nights when you're feeling down and out about being the only single girl in your circle of friends, remember that there is at least....at least...one man out there who would kill to be with you. You are everything that he's been praying for and he is just as sad as you that he hasn't found you yet.
I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Some men are in our lives to teach us something about ourselves or what we want (or don't want) in a relationship. Some we fall in love with, date long-term, but in the end realize they're not "the one." Others are those diamonds in the rough who are husband material. So, how do we differentiate between which one is which? Easy. Ask yourself on a regular basis, "Is this man deserving of me?" Answer honestly without making excuses. It's a yes or no question that should be answered with a simple yes or no response.
A man will always, always, always let you know how he feels about you. Not necessarily with the words he says, but by his actions. Any man can tell you that he loves you, but only a man who truly does will demonstrate this love on a regular basis. A man who disrespects you, neglects you, abuses you, or belittles you does not love you. A man who does not listen and work to fulfill your basic needs and wants does not love you (I said basic now...don't break up with a good man just because he can't buy you a car or a $500 dog). Anyone who is not willing to put the necessary work into a relationship does not deserve you.
Even if you're just beginning to date a guy, he'll let you know up front what he's looking for and what type of man he is by his actions. I've talked with many men about their ideas of reciprocity when it comes to how much money they spend on a date and how much physical intimacy they expect in return at the end of the date. Don't think that you have to put out just because your date buys you the surf and turf at dinner. If he gets angry because you won't go as far as he wants, he doesn't deserve you. Some guys have said that by the third date a girl should be putting out. That's a load of crap. Never do anything to compromise your self-respect for some random guy. Your body is a temple and should be treated with respect by both you and the man you're dating. Don't let a guy pressure you into doing anything that you can't walk away at the end of the night with your self-respect intact and your head held high.
Think about your past relationships. What worked? What didn't? A man who deserves you will continue to make an effort and will work with you to grow in the relationship. A man who deserves you will listen to your needs and what you want in the relationship and will make an effort to give you those things. He might not be successful, or he might not be able to give you those things every time, but he'll at least try. He will respect your boundaries and won't pressure you to redefine them. Most importantly, he'll be there for you unconditionally with no strings attached. He won't run away at the first hardship or fight you have, he'll see you through the good times and bad. Always keep those traditional wedding vows in your mind...in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, for better or for worse, to honor and respect you, forsaking all others...if he can't do that now outside of a marriage, what makes you think he'll be able to do that when you are married? A piece of paper and ring does not a good man make.
Your mantra for the rest of your dating life should be something along these lines...I am beautiful, I am worthy of love, I deserve to be honored and cherished, I will not settle for someone who does not deserve me. Have respect for yourselves ladies...if you don't respect yourself how can any man, deserving or undeserving, do the same?
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
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